


leftover breakfast, cereal for lunch (she's broken but she's fun)

by lesbianicon7



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Tutor AU, bottomlauren, the way it should be, topcamila
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 05:31:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13381197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianicon7/pseuds/lesbianicon7
Summary: Camila is Lauren's new English tutor. Lauren can't help but fall for her. Based on the song Season 2 Episode 3 by Glass Animals.





	leftover breakfast, cereal for lunch (she's broken but she's fun)

**Author's Note:**

> sup im posting some of my fics here from my wattpad! check out my other stories over there- @cxmilacxbello77
> 
> enjoy you gays xx

   
  
-

 “I’m sorry I’m not good at this” She says, “I’ll get better”

She’s standing there, drenched from head to toe from the rain as she sways on her feet. Camila can smell alcohol on her lips and her makeup is running down her cheeks and a little bit of her heart breaks then. She sighs, grabbing Lauren and pulling her into the warmth of her apartment.

She checks once, twice, for anyone watching before shutting the door.

She’s done it so many times it’s more like second nature.

 

 

-

 

 “Lauren, we can’t keep doing this”

She watches the barely nineteen year olds face scrunch into an adorable pout and Camila wants nothing more than for her to _leave._ To dissipate into the empty air because it’s hard to pretend she doesn’t love her. It’s so fucking hard.

But the poor girl then frowns, confused, because why? Why would they stop when Lauren loves her and she loves her back? Is there something wrong with that? There’s no wrong terms to loving her, there’s nothing wrong with loving her, _there’s nothing wrong with loving her._

It sounds like a mantra. Does Lauren say it to remind herself, or as an excuse?

 “But Camila we-“ Lauren swallows once, shivers from the cold, and Camila automatically grabs the blanket on her couch and covers her shaking body with it. Lauren leans into the contact; Camila can’t help but let the girl fall into her arms. Tuck her face into Camila’s neck and sigh contently.

 “We belong together”

Camila swallows and closes her eyes. Lauren said it sleepily and quietly, so much so the older woman struggled to hear it.

Rain from Lauren’s hair drips onto her collarbone and Camila needs Lauren to _go._

Need is the keyword.

Although, Camila doesn’t know if she _wants_ her to.

 

-

 

It’s three hours later when Lauren wakes up.

Camila’s in the kitchen, Lauren can smell something cooking, all she can manage to do with the pounding headache in her brain is to bury deeper into the blankets and the pillow Camila placed under her head. She feels warm and safe and loved and it’s raining outside still, she can hear thunder crackle to life in the sky.

 “Lauren? Your parents called. I told them you were at Normani’s”

Camila walks in, she’s drinking a glass of wine as she places down a freshly cooked bowl of pasta; smiling lightly down at the girl buried beneath the blankets. No matter how hard Camila tried, apparently, she’ll always love the girl in front of her.

 “They want to know if you’ll still make it to Thanksgiving”

Lauren groans, shoving the pillow over her head. Mumbling from under the object.  

 “Are you going?”

Camila raises an eyebrow, _yeah, ok, stupid question._

 “Of course I am,” Camila sighs, sits next to Lauren on the couch and places her drink on the table with a clink. She rubs her fingertips to her temples, muttering. God, when did being 30 years old feel like 80?

 “I’m your fucking family loved tutor after all Lo. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Lauren opens her mouth, nothing comes out except a croak, and she winces as last nights memories of her drunken state come flooding back.

 “I should go”

Camila looks up, her gaze is seeming to say _“Uh duh?”_ and Lauren shrinks back.

 "Yes. You _should._ God Laur, do you know what your mother would say if she found out?” Camila laughs, a bitter laugh, standing up and folding her arms.

 “Me! Fucking her daughter! The woman she trusts to be tutoring you in AP English!”

Camila pauses her pacing, breathing heavily as she shuts her eyes. “Oh my god this is so fucked up”

Lauren wants to say something, _anything,_ but all that escapes her mouth is “Do you have any painkillers?”

Camila rolls her eyes, grabbing her keys as she stalks over to her front door and opens it wide. Jerking her head to the rainy outside October air.

 “Come on, you can’t stay here tonight Lo. I’m driving you to Normani’s”

 “But _Caaamz”_

 “Lauren.”

Lauren pouts, using her puppy dog eyes, and pleads with her hands under her chin. “Please please please. Just tonight”

Camila sighs in defeat, letting the door slip shut as she grumbles; walking deeper into the house as Lauren follows with an excited squeal.

 “You’re sleeping on the couch baby”

(She ends up sleeping in Camila’s bed, of course. Her usual and comfortable position as little spoon. And she doesn’t miss the way the older woman smiles as she presses her face into the back of Lauren’s neck)

When she wakes the next morning, Camila’s gone, just a note hastily scribbled in her wake. It’s taped to Lauren’s forehead, and the younger girl frowns as she rips it off, reading it.

  _Be out of the house before I’m home. I mean it Lauren Michelle Jauregui._

Lauren shrugs, scrunches it up, and falls back asleep.

 

 

-

 

_Five months ago._

 “And this is your new tutor, Lauren. Miss Karla Cabello”

Lauren looks up to the woman from her position on her couch, a twizzler half hanging out of her mouth as she gapes to the goddess standing in front of her. Her _tutor,_ apparently, holds her hand out to shake with the kindest smile and Lauren blushes instantly when their hands meet.

She’s wearing an off the shoulder sweater and reading glasses, her bangs messy and eyes this deep chocolate brown that Lauren can’t keep staring at. She looks so soft and huggable and _oh my god_ so fucking hot.

 “Nice to meet you Lauren,” Then the older woman winks, smiling as she retracts her hand. “Heads up though, you can call me Camila. I go by my middle name”

Her mother than escorts Camila to their kitchen, offering snacks and Camila tea; Lauren’s left to sit mindlessly on the couch, the Power Rangers theme song playing in the background.

 “Holy shit”

She’s pretty sure she became infatuated with Camila then. With liquorice on her tongue and 90’s tv shows blaring in the distance.

 

 

 

-

 

 “In turn, the narrative is portraying Prospero as a man _desperate_ to be remembered as this all knowing being before he dies. His thirst for knowledge and power has him turned cynical and hateful, hence the growth of his daughter’s character to yearn for freedom under his control.”

Camila is leaning over Lauren’s shoulder in their dining room as she speaks, the younger girl’s papers and books strewn about the surface. Her tutor picks up Lauren’s pen, underlining a part Lauren wrote and praising her as she squeezes the younger girls shoulder.

But god, she can’t _focus_ with Camila’s hair tickling her cheek, her scent overwhelming Lauren to the point of insanity.

She shouldn’t be thinking of her tutor like this, she _definitely_ shouldn’t be.

Before Lauren can nod, maybe finally write something down, Camila rounds the table and paces. Like she’s giving a lecture. Her glasses are on her head, button up shirt open and revealing and kind of see through and _holy fuck_ how does Lauren breathe again?

 “You see, Shakespeare is simply creating a character in his image. A lot of people theorize that because The Tempest was his last play, the Epilogue of Act 5 was _Shakespeare’s_ own farewell. It’s a cool thought, but back to Prospero”

Lauren smiles at the older woman’s nerdiness, chuckling.

 “So, where were we? Oh! Right. His thirst for knowledge and power has him turned cynical and hateful and filled with revenge, similar to- wait, Lauren, are you even listening?”

Lauren blinks once, biting her lip as she blushes at being caught. She was kinda just...staring at the older woman. Not creepily of course, Camila’s just-

Wow. Camila’s _beautiful._  

 “U-Uh yeah. No, of course. Shakespeare uses Prospero as a metaphor for himself yadda yadda thirst for power daughter now rebellious”

Camila rolls her eyes, coming to sit next to Lauren. Flipping pages of Lauren’s copy of _The Tempest_ and raising a perfect eyebrow.

 “You weren’t even on the right page. You were on act 4 sweetheart”

Lauren’s heart beats at the pet name, clearing her throat and studying the page like her life depends on it. Because Camila’s deep pools of brown were making Lauren nearly melt into the floor beneath her.

 “Right. I knew that”

Camila chuckles, grabbing Lauren’s novel and putting her reading glasses down onto her face. How is she so effortlessly beautiful??

 “Here, I’ll read to you. You always respond better to oral than to physically writing it down”

(Lauren widened her eyes like that, and couldn’t stop the thought of _if the oral is from you? then yeah)_

Lauren shakes her head, _jesus. Cool the gay thoughts._

But then, and four months from now Lauren will tell Camila while they’re tangled in sheets that this is the moment she fell in love with her. When Camila stood up, eyes cast to the book in her hands as she walked around the room. The late afternoon sun filtered in, it caught Camila’s hair in a golden brown glow and the way she _speaks_ was so poetic and beautiful Lauren knew it then.

She knew she loved her.

 “The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces,” Camila walks behind Lauren, her voice is so raspy and soft and calming Lauren feels like she’s dreaming. Snow falls against the window, soft and light like Camila’s steps.

 “The solemn temples, the great globe itself, all which it inherit, shall dissolve. And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, leave not a rack behind.”

She comes back around, and Lauren is smiling lightly. Chin in her hand as she listens raptly. Camila rolls her eyes, not phased her student isn’t taking notes. Just simply listening. Camila’s okay with that – she’s okay with that because from the winter sun shining in the window little particles of dust can be seen flying past Lauren’s face.

And _oh._ Lauren’s gorgeous.

 “We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.”

Camila’s voice comes to a whisper, and Lauren’s eyes are like the stars. She looks to her student and it’s like everything falls away except for them.

Lauren can’t break eye contact, why can’t she break eye contact? Camila’s throat bobs as she swallows, and Lauren wants to kiss her, she wants Camila to shut the book and dart over and take her face in her hands and _kiss her._

She pleads it with her eyes, but Camila simply clears her throat. Looking at her watch as she smiles forcefully.

_Jesus Camila. You were about to kiss her!?_

“Times up. Make sure you focus on that speech by Prospero too Lauren, it’s-“ Camila bites her lip, shaking her head with an awkward chuckle. “It’s beautiful and gives insight to his character. You’ll tell me how your essay goes, yeah?”

Lauren frowns, like she was bought out of a spell, and quickly nods. “Oh, y-yeah. Of course. Thanks Miss Cabello, same time next week?”

She sees how Camila’s back tenses from where she picks up her papers and bag, Lauren calling her _that_ reminding her how inappropriate it was to even _think_ of kissing the younger girl, but fuck, Lauren looked so beautiful and not 30 minutes ago Camila made a stupid joke about the play and Lauren giggled so adorably Camila had to restrain herself from kissing her cheek in adoration.

Instead, she turns around and nods, smiling to Lauren and taking off her glasses.

 “Of course Laur. See you then”

Lauren waves, biting her lip. “Bye”

Then Camila’s gone, the silence being broken by the front door shutting with a click.

(And Lauren drops her head down to the table with a groan, her stupid heart and her stupid brain being her downfall. She’s in love with a woman practically twice her age)

Great.

 

 

-

 

It was going perfectly fine up until Tuesday night.

Lauren somehow convinced Camila to give her her number, because “ _So incase I forget notes or something important, you can just text me!”_ Camila raised her eyebrow at that, but nonetheless typed her number into the younger girls phone and gave it back to her.

 “ _Only_ for English questions, I’m your tutor after all Lauren”

Lauren nodded, biting her lip to contain her smile. “Yeah, of course Camz”

(Neither know when Lauren started calling her _Camz,_ but Camila never corrected her, so she guesses its okay)

It all started when Lauren fell asleep.

Sometimes, on bad days, Lauren’s anxiety flares. And today is worse because her new prescription had to be delayed, so Lauren’s sitting at her bed. Breathing deep and closing her eyes. She’s trying so hard to stop the building panic from rising up her throat, making her sob.

So she squeezes her eyes shut, willing the anxiety to dissipate.

 “Deep breaths Lauren. In. Out”

She tries to hold them, but all that happens is her dissolving into a crying mess. Eyes glued shut as she grits her teeth. “Fuck!”

She punches her pillow, throwing her body backwards onto her bed as she cries. Heel of her hands digging into her eyes to stop the tears. God, why can’t her mental health be okay? Why can’t she just, not have anxiety attacks weekly?

She tries breathing again; then her phone dings and at first Lauren goes to ignore it; but she sees _Camz_ flash on the screen and her breath stops for an entirely different reason.

  **Camz:** _here’s some extra notes for tomorrow. references are cited. good luck!_

It makes her squeeze her eyes shut, because _no no no._ Don’t think about how you love her.

So instead of replying, Lauren gets up and opens her chest of drawers, rifling through folded clothes until she finds it.

For Lauren, weed was always this substitute. It calmed her nerves and when she breathed in it was like her anxiety never existed, like it dissolved with each draw of breath. She only ever did it rarely, on her bad days. And _fuck_ is this a bad day.

And maybe she shouldn’t rely so heavily on it to calm down from anxiety attacks, maybe she shouldn’t use it as a crutch.

Then Camila texts her again, a simple _Lauren?_ that has the younger girl closing her eyes, lighting up her joint and trying to _forget._

(Trying to forget she loves her)

 

 

-

 

Lauren knew the smoking would get out of hand, she just didn’t know Camila would care so much.

She comes around for Lauren’s usual tutor session, glasses perched on her nose and a dark black jacket that makes Lauren forget where she is in the world for a moment. The older woman smells like leather and cherry blossoms and something musky that makes Lauren want to drown in her.

She’s currently fucking high as a kite, so she kinda thinks half of the shit she’s smelling is all in her head.

 “Lauren? You gonna let me in?” Camila smiles at her, eyebrows raised as she waves a hand in front of the younger girl’s face. “It’s fucking freezing out here”

Lauren blinks, shaking herself out of it as she furrows her brow.

 “Wait, it’s winter?” Lauren then pouts, leaning the side of her head on the open door as she slumps her body against it. “But I’m so waaarrm”

Camila frowns at that, stepping closer as she places her hand on the inside of the younger girls elbow. Camila goes to ask if she’s alright, then _oh,_ she notices how bloodshot Lauren’s eyes are as she opens her mouth in shock.

 “Lauren, are you high?”

The younger girl just giggles, looking down to the cool hand on her skin and biting her lip. “Maybe”

Camila rolls her eyes, walking further into the house and dragging a giggling Lauren behind her.

 “Oooh someone’s angry”

Camila sighs, gently placing Lauren on the couch as she crouches in front of the younger woman. If she was being honest, Lauren being high didn’t worry her. It was the fact she had her finals in a week and smoking weed _definitely_ would not help her chances.

(There’s also this deep rooted care Camila has for Lauren, this feeling that’s developed between the two that Camila just can’t ignore anymore. Except right now, she buries it, Lauren comes first before anything)

 “Lauren, sweetie, how long have you been smoking?”

 Lauren looks down to where Camila’s hands are placed on her thighs, and tilts her head.

 “Why would you even care? It’s not like I’m taking meth”

Camila sighs, ducking her head slightly for Lauren to catch her gaze. “That’s not the point. Lo, look at me honey”

Lauren frowns, folding her arms and sinking lower into the couch like a petulant child, making Camila chuckle.

 “No”

 “Lauren”

The younger girl simply flops to her side, taking a couch pillow and shoving it onto her face. “Now it just sounds like I’m listening to you under water”

A moment passes where Camila just snorts at the girl in front of her.

 “You know, you’d make a really sexy mermaid Miss Cabello”

Camila raises an eyebrow, laughing at how high Lauren must be. “Oh? What happened to ‘Camz’ huh?”

Camila doesn’t see, but Lauren blushes under the pillow, mumbling. “Shut up.” 

The older woman relents, standing up and rolling her eyes in mirth. “Okay okay. I’ll stop teasing. But I’m making you tea and you _will_ tell me what’s going on, okay sweetie? You can’t do this a week before your finals after we’ve worked so hard”

Lauren huffs, taking the pillow off her face as Camila squeezes her thigh and turns around.

 “Jeez. Okay _papi_ ”

Camila freezes, turning back around to Lauren just picking off old nail polish and biting her lip to stop her teasing smile coming through. And Camila opens her mouth like a fish, speechless as she clears her throat.

 “U-Uh right. Okay. Tea. Yeah”

She beelines for the kitchen, cheeks red as she puts the kettle on and hopes the high pitched squeal of it will drown out the very very _very_ bad thoughts she’s having about Lauren.

(It doesn’t, if anything, when Lauren comes in and kisses her cheek in thanks for the hot beverage, the thoughts get _worse)_

 

-

 

Everything changes somewhere in the middle of watching Brooklyn Nine Nine.

A high Lauren watching a comedy series is pretty fucking hilarious Camila can admit, she laughs at the dumbest parts and finishes the chicken nuggets Camila made for her in two seconds flat. Which also resulted in Lauren resting her head on Camila’s lap, sighing, and closing her eyes when Camila started running her fingers through her thick locks.

 “You’re my nugget Camz”

Camila simply chuckled, because Lauren’s high and she doesn’t mean anything she’s saying. And maybe that should hurt Camila, maybe that should make her feel like the things Lauren says are invalid and don’t have any emotional meaning. But honestly, it doesn’t. Because that means nothing will happen and no one will admit the feelings between them and _everything’s_ fine.

 They don’t love each other.

Lauren doesn’t think about Camila all the time.

Camila doesn’t do it either.

(They’re all lies, but Camila wants to sit in blissful ignorance for a little while longer)

Yet it was when Lauren stopped giggling at something on the tv and became quiet did Camila stall her fingers from stroking her hair, frowning at the silence.

 “Laur?”

She feels Lauren snuggle closer into her lap, she turns her body and presses her face into Camila’s stomach. Sighing contently.

 “Sometimes I don’t want to exist anymore”

The words have Camila shocked, but instead of freaking out, she calmly keeps her hands going through Lauren’s hair, speaking softly. “Why’s that baby?” 

She see’s Lauren flush, her hand comes up to Camila’s shirt to play with a loose string. Camila hopes she didn’t say anything wrong.

But the younger girl shrugs, biting her lip as she furrows her brow. “It’s just, sometimes my thoughts get, ya know, too much. Like they won’t _stop_ and let me breathe”

Lauren’s voice cracks on the last word, Camila feels her shirt wetten from tears that leak from the younger girl’s eyes and her voice is soft and soothing when she speaks, wiping a stray tear that falls to Lauren’s cheek with her thumb.

 “Oh Laur. Hey, it’s okay-“  
  
 “It’s not though! I just…I just wish I didn’t think those things. I have so much more than other people who are less fortunate than me, so why should I be feeling this sad Camz?”

She’s crying softly now, and all the older woman can think to do is motion for Lauren to sit up, bringing her in for a hug. Lauren tucks her head under Camila’s chin, and for the first time she feels okay again.

 “Shh Lauren. Just because you’re not suffering in a particular way, does _not_ mean what you’re feeling doesn’t matter, it doesn’t mean you’re not hurting. Okay?”

She feels so warm, so safe and happy in Camila’s arms and she doesn’t mean the next words to leave her mouth, they just do. Camila feels like heaven, like if she were to melt away right then it’d be in the comfort of the other woman’s arms.

 “I love you”

She feels Camila tense under her, and she _swears_ she feels the older woman’s heart stop for a second. But then, she feels her sigh, kissing the top of her head as Lauren closes her eyes.

 “I know Laur” Camila’s hug tightens, she feels a tear drop onto cheek. She doesn’t know if it’s hers or Camila’s.

 “I know”

Lauren doesn’t feel high anymore.

She sleeps to Camila’s breathing, to her arms around her, to how when Lauren winds her arms around her waist to bury deeper into her neck, Camila feels sturdy. Her stomach doesn’t waver and she’s _solid_ but soft; she’s someone who won’t ever leave Lauren.

And that’s nice for a change.

 

 

-

 

Lauren wakes the next morning on top of Camila, legs tangled and hand splayed on her stomach.

Camila’s breathing softly, her arm Lauren’s laying on tucked firmly around the younger girl. Lauren thinks she should really get off her, she should really get up before she wakes. But Camila’s nose twitches, her eyelashes flutter, and Lauren smiles lightly at how in the next moment Camila unconsciously pulls Lauren’s body closer to hers – forcing Lauren to smother her surprised squeal by biting her knuckle.

She closes her eyes, hoping Camila doesn’t wake up from the noise. The other woman doesn’t, simply sighing in her sleep and pressing her face into Lauren’s tangled mess of hair.

She decides the day can wait, it’s a weekend after all.

So she falls back asleep, to the sound of Camila’s heart.

 

 

-

 

They kiss that morning, simple and soft. Lauren would have always thought it would be this big monumental moment.

She likes it better this way.

Camila was making pancakes, watching the clock for when Lauren’s mother came home. And they both turned at the same time into each other and at first Lauren went to apologise, she went to side step around Camila and get to the fridge.

Then the older woman moved forward even more, pinning Lauren to the table behind her, making her widen her eyes and bite her lip.

 “Fuck it” Camila whispered.

And with that, she took Lauren’s cheeks in her hands, moving her hand to fist the back of Lauren’s hair and make the younger girl moan. She deepened it, opening Lauren’s mouth wider with her tongue and Lauren had to grip the table behind her to keep upright.

The kiss seemed like it lasted hours, the pancakes burnt, and they laughed into each other’s mouth as the smoke alarm went off but neither fucking cared.

Because they felt something, they could _feel_ it between them every time Camila deepened the kiss. Every time she gripped to Lauren’s hips and met her halfway it was as if they were feeling it for the first time ever.

 “I liked you the first time I saw you Lo,” Camila moves her kisses to her jaw, down her neck and back up again to raspily whisper in her ear, smiling slightly at the received moan. “Twizzler’s and all baby”

Lauren can’t help but let a laugh out that turns into a soft needy moan, hand coming up to the back of Camila’s head, urging her on as she licks and bites and sucks up and down Lauren’s neck. “Fuck, I was already so gone for you then Camz”

 “Yeah baby?”

Lauren nods, gasping when Camila, with ease, picks her up and places her on the table; pulling her forward roughly by the thighs. And Lauren, on instinct, wraps her legs around the older woman’s waist, rolling her hips.

“Fuck, I really shouldn’t be doing this”

But Lauren kisses her, silencing her thoughts. “Fuck me Camz. _Now”_

(Camila will kick herself later, but hearing Lauren exclaim: “Camila, shit, faster, _faster._ Don’t stop, don’t stop-“ into her ear while she’s two fingers deep inside of her, fucking Lauren on the kitchen counter, is worth it.

 So fucking worth it)

-


End file.
